dulcetstar: faded photo of a woman's side profile, basked in the sunlight as waves of her hair cover the screen (Default)
Star ([personal profile] dulcetstar) wrote2023-05-25 12:05 am
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To love, to love, to love

Oh, but I'm quite small
And I never have it all together
And I'm just a girl who doesn't have any diamonds or pearls
But don't give me your pity
Cause there's more to life than pretty things
So I'll just give you me

- Five Foot Three by Flannel Graph

What's frustrating is I don't think I'm difficult to love. Send me a message telling me how much you miss me and how much you're willing to give to have me right beside you and I'd read it ten, fifty, a hundred times. Remember my favorite movies, my favorite episodes, the endings I don't like, and then send me photos of the sunset because you know how much I love it when the sky melts into hazy hues of oranges and red and purple. Don't forget to tell me you love me every day no matter how busy things could get, and I'd tell you I love you too because it's true. And I don't want to be the only one to tell you all the time. Pluck me a lonely flower because I love them and you love seeing that smile brighten up my face whenever I see you carrying a small yellow hibiscus. Then you'd tuck my hair to the side and settle the flower behind my ear, and then you'd tell me how pretty I look.

...Or maybe I'm getting a wee bit too carried away. I guess I just have a lot of room for love. Like, a lot. And you'd think binge-watching The Flash would help. If anything, I've now resorted to imagining Barry Allen carrying me, running to the highest of mountains at super-speed just to say, "Everywhere that is next to you is home, (my name)." *flails* Oh mein Gott. Ich bin verrückt. Ich bin tatsächlich verrückt. *sobs* I am irredeemable at this point.

Tonight is one quiet night, mes belles.

I should re-check my to-do list so I don't die from boredom...

1. Write essays about something, anything really. Doesn't have to make sense. Like if Van Gogh stumbled upon a time machine, what would happen?
2. Pretend I traveled to the future to solve my own death only to find out I had faked it, map pins and messy newspapers on the corkboard and all.
3. ...Things I'd do if I were to fake my death.
4. Read murder mysteries.
5. Watch murder mysteries because it's interesting despite being morbid.
6. Study... and actually think about all my responsibilities in life... naaaah.
7. More daydreaming.

Oh wells. That's my cue. \o/