Just my thoughts
Jul. 14th, 2023 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dulcetstarWow, um. It's been two months, almost. I'm still the same hopeless romantic that I was when I left Dreamwidth for a bit. If anything, I think I've grown even more hopeless.
Alright so... what else is new with me? I've lost my 51-day streak on Duolingo, which is a bummer but, it's a canon event. I'm still with my beloved boyfriend, nothing much has changed with us. Though lately we've been spending less time with each other because I've been sleeping appropriately. Curse you, time-zone! And whenever I'm available, he's kind of doing something else, which suckssss. I heard two of his roommates are leaving tomorrow. I feel for him. I genuinely hope the next people who're moving in are just as kind. But um, I guiltily hope they're... men. OMG. This feels so selfish to say. Okay, like, maybe I am insecure, I admit, but puhlease. I'd be okay with it if I were there, but he's 6411 miles away from me. I can't really do much.
But then again... amor fati. To love one's fate. Or at least, to learn how to. If things do not end well, I will choose to love my fate. After all, I'm young. I've yet to explore much of the world. I'm nothing but a... love-struck, love-smitten girl for a guy who lives thousands of miles away from me. Poor lover girl can't do much if he decides that someone closer to him is worthier to pursue than someone who can barely leave the city walls. But one day I will. One day I'll be closer to him. But until then, will he continue to be satisfied with me?
Oh well... the present needs some tending to... maybe I should focus more on the present. Live in the moment. But sometimes thinking about the future gives me hope. I wanna really get out there. Live on my own. Buy copius amounts of plants just because. Fill my room with it. When I was a kid I've always wanted to volunteer in orphanages. Maybe I can fulfill that dream when I get older, too. I'm going to buy books and give into my whims and wants without worry. Take a break from worrying too much... even if just for a short, careless moment...
Alright so... what else is new with me? I've lost my 51-day streak on Duolingo, which is a bummer but, it's a canon event. I'm still with my beloved boyfriend, nothing much has changed with us. Though lately we've been spending less time with each other because I've been sleeping appropriately. Curse you, time-zone! And whenever I'm available, he's kind of doing something else, which suckssss. I heard two of his roommates are leaving tomorrow. I feel for him. I genuinely hope the next people who're moving in are just as kind. But um, I guiltily hope they're... men. OMG. This feels so selfish to say. Okay, like, maybe I am insecure, I admit, but puhlease. I'd be okay with it if I were there, but he's 6411 miles away from me. I can't really do much.
But then again... amor fati. To love one's fate. Or at least, to learn how to. If things do not end well, I will choose to love my fate. After all, I'm young. I've yet to explore much of the world. I'm nothing but a... love-struck, love-smitten girl for a guy who lives thousands of miles away from me. Poor lover girl can't do much if he decides that someone closer to him is worthier to pursue than someone who can barely leave the city walls. But one day I will. One day I'll be closer to him. But until then, will he continue to be satisfied with me?
Oh well... the present needs some tending to... maybe I should focus more on the present. Live in the moment. But sometimes thinking about the future gives me hope. I wanna really get out there. Live on my own. Buy copius amounts of plants just because. Fill my room with it. When I was a kid I've always wanted to volunteer in orphanages. Maybe I can fulfill that dream when I get older, too. I'm going to buy books and give into my whims and wants without worry. Take a break from worrying too much... even if just for a short, careless moment...
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